How the Book Blogging Community Saved Me
This is one of the few personal posts that I have written on the blog, but I felt like it was necessary for me to express how thankful I am for the blogging community. Last semester I started my first semester in college. It was one of those times that I had looked forward to my whole life, yet also felt so nervous about. I’m extremely close to my family and am one of those people who does not deal well with change, so moving away from home was very hard on me. I knew that this was something almost every teen has to go through after high school, so I put on my “big girl shoes” and tried to acclimate to college life.
Let’s just say nothing went as planned. My roommate was a person that I was confident I would get along with and share the highs and lows of our first year together. Unfortunately, that did not happen at all and we turned out to be complete opposites. It was extremely hard for me to live in that environment and I struggled daily for weeks with my situation. My roommate was not a horrible person in the least, but I just couldn’t live with her. Every thing she did drove me crazy and I started to get very unhappy. When I went to my RA about possibly changing roommates, all hell broke loose. A situation occurred along with another girl who had similar roommate problems that was handled in the worst way possible. It was then that I started to feel like I couldn’t live there anymore. I wanted free of the dorms. I wanted to go home and run away from it all. But I couldn’t. That’s not how life works when you’re officially an “adult”.
At the same time my living situation was going downhill, school wasn’t going much better. Sure, I loved most of my classes, but the one I could not get through was Chemistry. Yet I knew I had to if I ever wanted the chance of becoming a Pharmacist. But I just couldn’t. No matter what I did, I didn’t understand anything in that class. Every day that I had to get up and go to Chemistry I hated life. I knew I wouldn’t have a chance of passing the class so what was the point? I have never failed a class before but it was at this point that I decided that this would be the first time I would.
I basically had a break down at this point. I had no idea what to do. Nothing was going right. I was failing at life. I was never going to become a Pharmacist or be able to live on my own. Reading a book didn’t help. No matter how hard I tried to really get into a book, it was almost impossible with all the problems on my mind. Before, reading had been a way to escape from reality and live someone else’s life for a moment and get away from whatever problem I may have been dealing with at that time. But in the early months at college, that wasn’t a possibility. I couldn’t do it. I barely got through a book a week, and when I did, it was usually pretty hard for me to get as deeply involved in them as I used to. I was feeling so lost.
But you know what kept me from spiraling into a deep depression and giving up? The blogging community. While I couldn’t go home and get away from college and dorm life on the weekdays, I could go to my blogger friends and get the support I needed from them. Whenever I was feeling so down in the dumps, one tweet to bloggers and I would get a flood of support that uplifted me and got me through the day. I cannot tell you guys how much that helped. I felt so much love and friendship and kindness from the blogging community, fellow author friends and from you, my readers. Jenny, Grace, Lauren, Erin, Tonya, Mary, Jen, Espe, Miranda, Vy, Julie, Jamie, Rachel, Angela, Candace, Stacey, Ellie, Jodi, Lisa, Laura, Janet, and so so many more of you each helped me in a big way. I cannot express enough my sincere gratitude to you all for helping me get through such a dark time in my life.
What also helped me? All the YA author events that I had the chance to attend last semester. Every one of these events lifted me up and made me feel so good inside. All of the authors that I got to meet/see again who had such kind words about me made me feel complete. 90% of my happiest moments in the worst of times occurred because of those authors. You know who you are.
It was during one of these author events that I realized that I could be happy. I just had to follow my dreams and do what I love, get to work with the people who I love, to be complete. Yep, I decided to pursue a career in publishing. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I thank you bloggers and authors for helping me realize it.
Now I am in a much better place. I made the decision to go to a college that allows me to commute from home and also happens to be where two of my best friends are attending. It is super close to Changing Hands as well which means I can go to so many more author events! Woo! I am super excited about the new opportunities headed my way and can’t wait to see what my future holds in store for me.
*Side Note: I did drop out of the evil Chemistry class before the first test. Also one of my wiser decisions.*
*Another Side Note: No mom and dad, I didn’t forget about your role in all of this. I have you two to thank for so, so, so much. I just wanted to make sure the blogging community knows that I appreciate what they did to help me get through the semester of hell.*